apparently, when i am awakened happily by a smoochy girlfriend, i want to say something nice. but i am half in sleepy dreamland, and my face doesn’t work so good. so, sometimes when i mean to say: thanks for kissing me awake, i hope you have a great day, what comes out is a little different.

the following things i have Said To My Actual Girlfriend.

  • have you ever tried to teach a duck about daylight savings time? well DON’T! it’s IMPOSSIBLE!
  • you have great calves. is your mother a ballerina like you?
  • incoherent Scottish accent swearing

apparently this happens often enough that i am creating a new category for it. enjoy.

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